


Harmonic Balance

by anna_thema



Series: Sapphic Resonance [2]
Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Trauma, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22916935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_thema/pseuds/anna_thema
Summary: The day the last Hiss soldier falls and the murmuring ceases, she feels the familiar glimmer in her eyes, and knows that at long last it’s over.The thought terrifies her.***The decision to open the Bureau after the last of the Hiss stirs up past trauma and present desires for Jesse and Emily
Relationships: Jesse Faden/Emily Pope
Series: Sapphic Resonance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681960
Comments: 10
Kudos: 99





	Harmonic Balance

**Author's Note:**

> This is a loose sequel to Harmonic Oscillation, another control fic I wrote. It's not required that you read the first one though. Wanted to explore the effect that working at the Bureau has had on Jesse.  
> Enjoy!

She doesn’t hear from Polaris much, not since Hedron fell. She knows she’s still there, but its as though they’ve now grown together so much that even she can’t tell the difference between them. Nevertheless, the day the last Hiss soldier falls and the murmuring ceases, she feels the familiar glimmer in her eyes, and knows that at long last it’s over.

The thought terrifies her.

She doesn’t know how long its been, but she’s not the same person that walked through the doors of the Oldest House with nothing but a jacket and a north star to guide her. Now, she has super powers, she has her brother, she has a purpose, and she has friends.

And then, she has Emily.

When Emily Pope, Director of Research at the FBC, had first walked out of that Black Rock shelter and into her life, she’d had no idea that she would become such a big part of it. In her early days at the Bureau, Emily was her only confidant, the only person she felt like she could really trust. Even now, knowing more of the senior staff, she still feels closer to Emily than anyone else. Even her relationship with Polaris felt different. They’ve been growing closer to each other since the worst of the Hiss passed, a relationship spelt out in gentle touches, held hands, and conversations that strayed just shy of intimate. Jesse’s not sure what to call it, but she likes it.

“Hey Jesse!” Emily’s voice is cheerful, excited. “Ready for the big event?”

Jesse looks up from her paperwork with something like a grin. Emily has finally stopped calling her “Director”, although sometimes she’ll do it in jest, with a sly smile.

“Yeah, just finished the official authorization.”

As with most things at the FBC the decision to open the building required a mountain of paperwork and several levels of certification. And with over half of Bureau employees dead or missing, even more HR paperwork to sort through. Jesse has been plugging through it slowly, making sure she’s doing it right, but at a certain point, she has to think of the people still alive. They deserve to be allowed outside, even if her feelings about the whole ordeal are…mixed.

If Emily senses the hesitation in her voice, she doesn’t show it. She flashes Jesse her signature smile and dances into the office.

“well come on then! Arish has already started the countdown!” She grabs Jesse by the hand and drags her, protesting from the office.

Even a short while ago, such a forward gesture of affection would have been out of the question for either of them, but things have changed since they started talking more openly. Helping each other heal after all that both of them have been through has brought them together in a way that Jesse had scarcely hoped for. She takes comfort in the warmth of Emily’s hand against hers, allowing it to calm the butterflies in her stomach. Emily half pulls her down the corridors towards Central Executive, and Jesse sees how genuinely exciting for her this is. This is clearly a big deal for her.

At last they arrive at Central Executive, where a small crowd of people has gathered. Someone, in typical FBC fashion, has made a “Happy Going Outside Day” from block paper letters. She hopes it isn’t an Altered Item. When she arrives, everyone looks at her like they expect her to make some sort of speech, but all she says is:

“Well, lets go then.”

Somewhat subdued, she leads them down the hall to the front doors, currently sealed with Black Rock blast doors. As the crowd of employees gathers together, Arish starts up an impromptu countdown.

“Twenty, nineteen, eighteen…”

Emily finds her in the crowd and grabs her hand, she seem snear vibrating with excitement. Jesse, on the other hand, suddenly feels numb.

“Fourteen, thirteen…”

Suddenly she’s back at the beginning, back as who she was before all of this, before the Directorship, before finding Dylan, before finding Emily. Lost, powerless, alone. The doors start sliding apart, revealing a blinding light. It takes her a second to realize it’s the sun.

“Eight, seven, six…”

“Are you ok?” Emily asks, but her voice sounds distant, and the Oldest House seems both fragile, and the only safe place on the earth.

Jesse longs to be back in her office, or the janitors office, or somewhere where the wide world doesn’t yawn open. She sees people walking by, and worries that they aren’t wearing HRAs.

“Four, three, two, one, zero!”

The outer doors swing open, everybody around her surges forward, and Jesse is rooted to the spot.

***

“Jesse, Jesse talk to me”

She knows Emily is talking to her, but it’s hard to think over the ringing in her ear. She makes an effort, and focuses on the feeling of Emily’s hands in her own, of the voice.

“Jesse, that’s it, try to breathe if you can.”

She complies, and comes back to herself by degrees. She becomes aware of herself, realizes that she’s hyperventilating. She takes a shuddering breath, and sees Emily in front of her, blocking out the rest of the world. She takes Jesse’s face in her hands.

“Jesse talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”

“I-“ She swallows, clears her throat. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s called a panic attack, and its ok.” Emily’s voice is soothing, Jesse tries to focus on just that. “Why don’t we sit down?”

They find a bench out of the way, and Emily sits down beside her, their knees touching. Jesse makes efforts to describe how she feels. The pull of the Oldest House, the panic she’s been feeling. The fear that this is all she is, this house and this job. She’s aware of tears on her face. Through it all, Emily nods, listens. Around them, people walk by, chatting and making plans. Langston glances their way, but decides better of it, hurrying of through the doors. Must be off to relieve his cat sitter.

Eventually she subsides, hiccupping slightly. Emily looks at her with an unreadable expression.

“Jesse” she says, slowly, “working at the Bureau, I see extraordinary things every day. I’ve seen horrifying things that I couldn’t have thought of in nightmare, and wonders that make me marvel at the universe. But the most extraordinary thing I have encountered, in all my years here is you”

Jesse blinks, not understanding what she’s hearing. Emily continues.

“Jesse, you are so much more than your abilities, or your position. You are exceptional because of who you are, not the gun that you carry or your position. You’re kind, driven, and you don’t give up on people. You don’t have to be super powered or fearless to make me…to make me fall head over heels for you.”

This last comes out in a bit of a rush, and Emily stares at her lap, stealing quick glances up at Jesse, blushing hard. Jesse is speechless. She’s a bit out of her depth here. She’s aware of her leg touching Emily’s, of Emily’s hand twitching in her lap. Slowly, she reaches out and takes it in her own. They look at each other, and Jesse realizes that her panic is gradually subsiding. It’s not gone, but it’s like the tide coming out, leaving her safe on the shore.

“I-“ she manages, “I know what you mean”

“About you being exceptional?”

She takes a deep breath and jumps in.

“About me being head over heels, for you”

Emily blinks, then lets out a shakey smile. Her eyes dart between Jesse’s own and her lips.

“Really?”

“Well, yeah” Jesse blinks, aware that they’re heads are inches apart. “But I never knew what to do about it”

“Could we, maybe try an experiment?” The distance between their faces is getting smaller by the second.

“Yes” Jesse finds herself replying, “Lets.”

They kiss, and Jesse is sure that it counts as an altered world event. Emily is soft, warm, and Jesse drinks her in. They hold each other, supporting each other while the world ebbs and flows around them. After far to brief a time the break apart, and look into each others eyes.

“Jesse, are you ok?” Emily’s voice is gentle, and she reaches up to brush a strand of hair away from Jesse’s face.

Jesse catches her hand, and kisses her again lightly on the forehead.

“No, but I will be, now that I have you.”

Jesse stands, holding Emily’s hand and drawing her up.

“Come with me, l have something to show you.”

The doors to the Federal Bureau of Control are squeaky from lack of recent use, but they open easy enough as they step out, hand in hand, onto the streets of New York. The sun is setting, casting a golden red pyrotechnics display across the skyscrapers and reflected buildings. Jesse thinks it’s the second most beautiful thing she’s seen all day. Looking to her left at the woman holding her hand, she sees the first.

The second time she kisses Emily, they’re lying in the grass in central park as the last rays of the sun slip through the trees. They get lost in each other, and everything feels right, if not quite normal. But normal is overrated anyway, Jesse thinks. And as the stars turn in their courses, the universe shines down on two women, making their way back to Emily’s apartment, surrounded by life and the world they helped protect.


End file.
